Spamglish: Filimotas was weird porque se le cayó la mollera

By Larry Torres
Posted 5/9/19

Canutito estaba en la mesa de la cocina just thinking una mañana after breakfast. Después de hacer ponder his thoughts over and over en su cabeza, he turned to Grama Cuca y le …

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Spamglish: Filimotas was weird porque se le cayó la mollera

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Canutito estaba en la mesa de la cocina just thinking una mañana after breakfast. Después de hacer ponder his thoughts over and over en su cabeza, he turned to Grama Cuca y le preguntó: "Grama, what does the word 'safão' mean?

"Safão," replied Grama Cuca, "refers to una persona who is so foolish que you can't help but laugh de sus tonterías." Luego she added: "Why are you asking me about 'safão,' m'hijo?"

"I was just thinking about cómo mi amigo el Filimotas must be algo safão," Canutito smiled. "Estaba pensando about how last month durante la Cuaresma, el Filimotas, had tried to convince everyone que iba a hacer 'fast' all during Lent. He went pa'l McDonald's, pa'l Burger King, pa'l Wendy's y pa'l Sonic por cuarenta días. He was convinced de que 'fasting' meant que tenía que no comer nada más que 'fast food' for 40 days. Lo que pasó es que he ended up gaining cuarenta libras by the end of Lent. He looked un poco curioso walking about with a 40-pound gut."

"You are right, m'hijo," Grama Cuca agreed. "Filimotas is not only 'safão'; he is bien traquião. That means he must have cracked su cabeza and let all his brains run out cuando era un kid. What else did Filimotas tell you, m'hijo?" she asked.

"He told me que en la Last Supper, Jesus had only served bread and wine y los discípulos se quedaron con hambre at the end of the meal. He also said que since the disciples were still hungry después de la Última Cena, Jesús had had to take them afterwards pa'l Olive Garden. Filimotas said que they had eaten tanta pasta there que al fin se quedaron dormidos después que comieron."

"Jesus never took a sus discípulos to the Olive Garden!" Grama Cuca exclaimed, toda outraged. "He took them para el Mount of Olives; no pa'l Olive Garden. They went there a rezar and then after praying, se quedaron dormidos because they were tired y no porque they had stuffed themselves con spaghetti. I think que el Filimotas is not only bien traquião, m'hijo; I think que he is lurio."

"¿Qué quiere decir 'lurio', grama?" Canutito asked her.

"Lurio means que Filimotas is off his rocker," Grama Cuca stated. "It seems que todo de lo que piensa is about food and eating."

"That's true, grama," Canutito added. "Una vez, when some of the boys were digging up some lombrices to go fishing, uno de los muchachos dared Filimotas to eat one of the worms. Filimotas explained to us que one day, after we die, las worms will eat up our bodies en la tierra so if he beat the worms to the punch ahora, entonces there would be no more lombrices para comérselo a él ya después de muerto. So he opened his mouth y se comió cuatro o cinco lombrices and he licked his fingers como si eran bien tasty. He said que estaban 'finger-licking good.' "

"I changed my mind," said Grama Cuca, "I think que Filimotas está un poco brain-damaged; I think que probably se le cayó la mollera when he was little. Nobody eats lombrices unless they are dropped en su soft spot cuando son niños."

"I think que I just lost my appetite por el McDonald's, el Burger King, el Wendy's, el Sonic y el Olive Garden," Canutito said, turning todo verde …

  • Ep704_Filimotas was weird porque se le cayo la mollera.mp3

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