Comunicarse bien in N.M. is hard

Larry Torres
Posted 12/12/19

Los días before Christmas estaban getting closer. Canutito was helping Grama Cuca limpiar la casa by sweeping debajo del sofás mientras que estaba escuchando Christmas carols en el radio.

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Comunicarse bien in N.M. is hard

Posted

Los días before Christmas estaban getting closer. Canutito was helping Grama Cuca limpiar la casa by sweeping debajo del sofás mientras que estaba escuchando Christmas carols en el radio. Pero a veces he couldn't understand las palabras of some of the seasonal songs.

"Grama," he began, "¿Por qué están cantando 'the least knobby dad?'"

"Eso no es lo que están singing, m'hijo," replied Grama Cuca. "They are singing: 'Feliz Navidad,' which means 'I want to wish you a Merry Christmas.' Pero I wouldn't be too worried, m'hijo," she went on. "Una vez mi carro broke down cuando fui shopping. Tuve que caminar all the way to Abe's General Store. I telephoned a tu grampo from there and told him que viniera por mí at Abe's. Pues, I waited por una hora for him to come pero no venía. He finally called me y me dijo: 'Here I am at Ace pero you are not here.' I yelled into the phone, 'Yo no dije que estaba en Ace; I said que I was at Abe's.' De manera que sometimes we all hear cosas todas pa'la fregada."

"Do all people hear things al revés?" Canutito asked her.

"A veces no es una question of hearing things in reverse, m'hijo," Grama Cuca said. "A veces people just don't know cómo decir words in another language. Tu grampo saw a una mujer choking on some food allá en el restaurante the other day and he yelled out: 'Quick, someone, déle el Heimlich Remover!'"

"I think he meant to say, 'el Heimlich Maneuver,' ¿qué no, grama?" Canutito snickered.

", m'hijo," Grama Cuca agreed. "That reminds me de la vez que tu grampo went to see the doctor y hallaron que tenía diabetes. El doctor le hizo prescribe 'Metaformin pills' to bring down his blood sugar. Pero cuando tu grampo went to the pharmacy, he asked que le dieran 'George Forman pills.' La pharmacist pensó que estaba loco."

Canutito laughed, "It reminds me de la vez cuando un hombre who had been digging ditches toda la mañana went to eat en el diner. Sus manos estaban todas filthy. La waitress era una gringa who said to him: '¿Por qué no va pa'l restroom y se lava las manos con sopa?'

"Didn't the waitress know la palabra for 'soap,' grama? She ended up asking al hombre to wash sus manos con soup!

"Una vez in catechism había una muchacha who didn't understand English muy bien. Cuando la catechism teacher said que there was a hymn that says: 'Gladly the cross I'd bear,' ella levantó la mano and she asked her, '¿Quién es 'Gladly the cross-eyed bear' en la Biblia?'"

"When I was a little girl," Grama Cuca smiled, "mi hermanito told me about un hombre que estaba un poco constipated and so he sent his grandson a comprarle some Ex-Lax pills para ayudarle. Pero el muchachito no hablaba inglés muy bien so he went up to the pharmacist y le dijo: 'Grand papa, no caca.' El pharmacist gave him unas píldoras, pero no le trabajaron.

"De manera que el muchachito went to the pharmacy the second time and he said: 'Grand papa, no caca.' El pharmacist le dio bigger pills pero las píldoras más grandes didn't help the old grandpa's constipation tampoco. El muchachito went por la tercera vez and he said: 'Grand papa, no caca,' so the pharmacist le dio laxative pills del tamaño de horse pills. El muchachito returned en la mañana y le dijo: ¡'Grand caca, no papa!'"

Canutito laughed de just how hard it is de comunicarse in New Mexico.

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